How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
