how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
