mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize