But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
