Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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