someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize