I'm drive I can fine osifer
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Randomize
