I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
MIDGETS
????
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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