He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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