yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Panties = found
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