just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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