Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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