I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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