if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
