Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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