I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
