Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
