It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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