Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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