thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
