at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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