I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
