all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
