i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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