its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
