oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
