my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
