is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
mondays should just be called national damage control day
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
