wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
