i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
