i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
