you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize