Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
