Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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