Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
