I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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