Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
