the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Also, beer. Big fan.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
