those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
