I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
