dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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