I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
