i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
