nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
