U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
