so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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