who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
im holly from the hills drunk
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
