Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
