Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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