You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
