We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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