Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
