How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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