Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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