im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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