The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
