it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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