i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
