I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
