We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
