That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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