i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize