I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize