Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
