Sponge bath it is.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
