nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
