she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize