I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
