i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
