Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
