This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
