The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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