i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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